I love voices. I have long had an admiration for a powerful and seductive voice. I have a long held fantasy of being able to orate in a way that expresses great command over the issues, and is incredibly persuasive. I wish my speaking voice was anywhere near as good as my writing voice. Neither is great, really. My grammar is often off, despite how fancy it may appear, but my talking skills are terrible. It's not just because of stuttering, but because of the sound of my voice, too. Yes, I'm beating myself up, but when you sound like a want-to-be-Briton, or like what the natural speaking voice would be of the lead singers of bands you hate, it's rather deppressing, to say the least. I still remember the imposing voices of Ron David and William Hootkins (may he rest in peace). I am even glad to hear David Ackroyd again, whom I loved to hear on one of my favorite documentary series of all time, In Search of History. The opening theme to that series was excellent. On radio, I'll often hear a woman's voice in an ad, and I think of how beautiful she could be. One voice especially. I've tried in vain to find her picture. There was a recent study which, as I recall, seemed to give credence to the idea that voices can indicate physical attractiveness.
So when I was younger, I created, as I guess many have, imaginary characters to act as. Yes, I was less robotic at a time. I had a few characters, in fact. One based on Transformers. One based on the X-Men, and one independent one, the one I want to talk about here. He wasn't a great character. Just your typical uber hero/anti-hero that couldn't be killed, etc. Well, I was around 10 or younger when I created him. Well, his name was a made up word that was kind of a distortion of the word 'dragon.' I briefly used him on line in a community which, in retrospect, I shouldn't have. I also had a rival for him whose name was made up, but that name actually turned out to be the name of a real place in Scotland. I've long rejected the character, and prefer to think of my newer character, whom I consider to be more complex and "human." But, back to the community. I foolishly tried to introduce a degree of danger in what was essentially a pacifist group; stupid, indeed. Now, though, looking back with narcissistic curiosity, I see that people have taken my old character's name, or it wasn't that original in the first place. Either way, it's kind of flattering, but also feels like a part of my more creative side has been taken from me. The name's now being used by someone in WOW fan pages, or whatever they are.
Also, one update note on my mother's passing. We're still waiting on her cremation, so far as I know, and I am getting a little tired of waiting. Naturally, my father is absurdly patient, and probably won't worry about her remains for a good month before knocking heads.
10/4/08
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